Most of my clients have a history with prestige. Their JDs or MBAs or PhDs are from top-ranked schools. Their undergrad experiences were at highly selective institutions. They won fellowships or clerkships or special distinctions. And their resumes have name-brand companies or agencies on them. Through hustle, brainpower, work ethic, and yes, certainly some good luck, they landed at the places that others wanted.
When they reach out to me, they’re usually feeling wobbly, or naming a doubt that’s been in them for a while. “I don’t think this is what I want.” Maybe it never was. Or maybe it was great for an earlier stage of life, but doesn’t feel rewarding any more. Naming that they want to leave isn’t the hard part. It’s the questions that emerge right after.
Is it crazy to leave a role that everyone admires? That others would feel lucky to get? That signals to anyone that you are: smart, professional, capable, a top performer.
What would you be if you didn’t have that?
Where would you go instead???
Sometimes clients feel sheepish admitting this. “I know I shouldn’t care about the prestige, but I have to admit I do think about it…..” Other times they just blurt it out. “I worry about what people are going to think.” Or even, “Leaving would prove that I’m not good enough. Or I can’t hack it. Or maybe I was lazy.”
Clients carrying this burden can get stuck in a “should-I-or-shouldn’t-I” loop that’s an even more intense version of the Overthinking Trap I see so often. After all, if you’re going to walk away from BIGLAW or one of the Big Three or another name-brand company, and give up the built-in professional credibility you’ve attained, you better be going somewhere Really Good. And when you’re not sure what you might want, or how to find it, or whether they’ll like you, it’s hard to be confident you can land somewhere Really Good. So you stay, waiting until the right thing comes along. And the longer it doesn’t, the worse you feel.
The stakes of this decision can be amplified for people without generational wealth or cultural capital. Clients from low-income backgrounds, children of immigrants, and people of color recognize the power of prestige. It conveys respect, and reduces the likelihood they’ll be underestimated or dismissed. Prestige can represent safety. Walking away from prestige means taking a risk, and for most of us, our risk tolerance is related to the size of our safety net. One client said to me, “I’ve had this scarcity mindset for a long time, and it’s not helping me right now in my career. I’m so stuck on it because it feels like every shot is my only shot. And it feels like I have to maximize it.”
I don’t think it’s foolish or shameful to consider prestige in your equation. Nor do I want you to stay chained in an organization you’ve outgrown, just to accumulate more gold stars.
Cal Newport talks about the skills and reputation you gain early in your career as “career capital.” Going to prestigious schools or firms is a pretty good way to build career capital. Often (but not always!) there is interesting work, and there’s usually a lot of it. Often (but not always) there are other smart people working alongside you, so you can form relationships with other smarties while learning, fast. And the prestigious name is a short-cut for busy people — they’ll assume flattering things about your professionalism, your competence, and your potential just from that association. There are other ways to build a great network, get good at doing hard things, and establish a reputation for producing to high standards. But prestigious organizations are often an efficient package that delivers most of these attributes.
But the point of accumulating career capital is to spend it on the life you want. And when you hate your prestigious job, the inquiry becomes: what is the life I want, and is prestige the best way to get it?
This is where the very personalized assessment and planning comes in. Your reputation is going to matter when it’s time to make a change. We’ll talk about the reputation and credibility you’ve built, and whether additional gold stars will change the way you are assessed in the new organization you’d like to move into.
Instead of talking about “prestige,” we’ll think about “legibility” — a story about what you want from your career that your network will understand and accept.
Early in your career, prestige stands in for legibility. Nobody asks what you were thinking when you chose the top-ranked school, or went to work for the name brand firm. It’s only when you make a different choice that people might ask why.
Instead of anticipating that question as a challenge, frame it as curiosity.
When you can tell a clear story about your current priorities and the path you see toward achieving those goals, most people in your network will recognize how it makes sense. After all, you probably won’t be the first person they know who has chosen to leave. Your reputation isn’t harmed by thoughtful decisions that recognize changing priorities or circumstances. The people who respect your work just need to understand how you are thinking about this chapter of your career, and what you want next. That makes it easier for them to advocate for you and send you opportunities and introductions that fit.
When you recognize the components of work that matter most for the next few years, you’ll have an easier time articulating that narrative. One client described it as “putting the pen in my hand a little bit more.” I love that image of authorship.
When I help clients with this, we look at the risks ahead and the assets (relationships, skills, accomplishments) they’ve got to work with. Some decide to go to a different name-brand organization. Others prioritize compensation, title, autonomy, more or fewer direct reports, flexibility, creativity, or balance.
Your focused attention on the inquiry will lead to conviction about the right next move. Waiting miserably for an answer to appear on LinkedIn probably won’t.
If you’re facing this dilemma, you’ve found someone who understands. Sign up for my email list, and I’ll share ideas, tools, and resources that might help.
