Our career decisions are full of uncertainty. We can do a lot of research and preparation to reduce our unknowns, and sharpen our criteria, and map the promise of an opportunity to our priorities. But it’s hard to be sure.
Will saying yes to this lead to regret? Will saying no be something I kick myself for?
Last week a client asked me: “How do I make sure I don’t regret this?”
I pulled out The Power of Regret by Dan Pink and told the client: there’s a framework for the big life regrets. Let’s see how this decision rates in these four main categories.
- Foundational regrets: not saving enough, not exercising enough, developing a bad habit or an addiction early in life. These are keystone decisions that can threaten health, relationships, or stability.
- Moral regrets: being a jerk, bullying or lying or transgressing your own values in some way. These actions weigh on us. Similarly, failure to step in to protect someone, or looking the other way when a bad actor was doing something underhanded.
- Boldness regrets: not taking the risk, asking for that person’s phone number, moving to that exciting but slightly risky city. We regret the things we DIDN’T do much more than the things we tried but that didn’t work out.
- Connection regrets: losing touch with someone great, not telling someone how much they meant to you, not spending enough time on the relationships that matter.
These categories are the things people remember sadly. The good news is they point the way to making good decisions now — and they can guide you toward building a life you feel great about.
In the case of my client, there was an immediate, visceral reaction when I read them this list. It was amazing to watch them listen, reflect, then nod. Decision made.
