My most confusing work experiences were with leaders who I couldn’t fully trust. Especially when I admired many things about them. What made me confused was thinking about trust as a singular thing. Do I trust them, or don’t I? Am I reading this relationship correctly? How loyal do I wish to be, and how much of my planning can I build around the messages I get from them?
It gets much clearer when you apply Charles Feltman’s framework instead. He posits that trust is four separate elements:
- Care: Does this person have my best interests at heart?
- Sincerity: Can I believe what this person is saying?
- Reliability: Will this person deliver on what they promise?
- Competence: Does this person have the capacity to meet my standards?
When we find that trust is frayed, it’s helpful to identify which component is the problem. And what specific behaviors have created doubt. This inquiry leads to some constructive ways to repair or rebuild trust without either party falling into defensiveness.
I’ve recognized how valuable this framework might have been for me when I worked alongside people with whom I had incomplete trust. I wish I had learned it earlier.
Charles Feltman has a book, which I haven’t read yet. This podcast is a great start for think about working with people we don’t trust, and how to improve the relationship.
