I’ve observed a pattern with smart people who are feeling stuck.
They recognize the problem. Their brain thinks of a possible way out. Then they evaluate that idea.
Because it (necessarily) involves changing something, it’s risky. They would have to do something they don’t usually do, or put themselves in front of different audiences, different organizations, or a new industry.
It would mean being more of a beginner than they are right now. To people accustomed to being experts, who’ve spent years earning credibility and authority, it’s that much harder to be new at something. To try something you haven’t before.
How would I look? What would I say? These are not superficial questions. Your reputation is important. You care about credibility. AND, to leave what you know isn’t working, you need to become familiar with new possibilities.
It’s easy to dither and delay. You don’t want to ask for help until you know with more certainty exactly what you’re asking for. People come to me after they’ve been doing it for years.
Something happens when you decide, and you step forward to ask for help even when it feels messy and unformed. You become, in your own mind, a person who has gone from dread and shame and “I need to figure this out someday,” to being a person who has taken action. “I’ve reached out to get help, and I have another conversation scheduled for next week.”
That’s a different identity, and it feels better. (I just stepped forward and asked for help with a half-formed project that I’ve been avoiding for months.)
