A great thank-you note has three specific elements.
- You thank someone for SOMETHING SPECIFIC.
- You point out why their doing it was special. “You didn’t have to _____ but you did,” or “You could have _____, but instead you _______” are both good ways of distinguishing their behavior or decision.
- You name the effect it had on you — what you felt, understood, or received as a result of their specific behavior.
That’s all. But it’s rare that a thank you note delivers on all these elements. A good one helps the person who receives it feel seen, respected, and liked — and it makes them feel like they’ve seen you a little better.
I love thank-you notes, because they’re powerful ways to connect with others. They combine reflection, gratitude, and appreciation, which are all science-supported ways to feel happier. And they’re strategic tools that strengthen your network and build you advocates and champions.
