There’s an influential paper from the 1970s that’s pretty well-known in career development circles. It’s called “The Strength of Weak Ties” and it suggests that the people who can help you most in a job search are acquaintances, not good friends. You can thank the author, Mark Granovetter, for all the emphasis on “networking,” that’s now become foundational advice.
I read the underlying dissertation research this past year. For all the popularizing and citations, it’s a pretty limited study (100 men in the Boston area in the late 1960s, largely focused on blue collar and technical roles). My biggest takeaway was surprise and caution about how such a study’s conclusions have been so widely amplified through repetition and popular summaries, as though it’s a universally applicable truth.
Still, I think it resonated because there are some true things in there.
- People in our closest circle see us much as we see ourselves, and they often share our blind spots, assumptions, and reference points. People a little further away have a broader perspective, which can help us imagine new possibilities or see our potential in a new context.
- People enjoy doing favors, fixing people up, and sharing gossip. All of those attributes are especially helpful in job searching.
- We expect less from weak ties, which mean that their efforts on our behalf feel surprising, delightful, and serendipitous.
- And we are less beholden to weak ties, which means that sharing tips, making introductions, and passing along information feels more generous when we do it. It’s a gift, not an obligation.
As I grow my practice, I’ve been seeking lots of help, from acquaintances who know about things like marketing, video production, accounting. Their generosity has been remarkable and transformative.
It’s hard to ask for favors, but it feels so very good to GIVE them. I think we feel even more reticent to ask “weak ties” to help us out, when maybe we shouldn’t. Asking, and sharing, thickens the ties we have, and that feels great on both sides.
